This post is sponsored by Wente Vineyards but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.
I've been pretty reserved when it comes to sharing my struggles here on the blog. We all want to present our best side, but today I'm going to get real and honest for a minute. I think a lot of women add more to their plates than they can handle, myself included. As a mom, a wife, and a friend, I usually put myself last. For as long as I can remember, I've had this need to make others happy even if it came at the expense of my own happiness. I believe Teri Hatcher described it once as burnt toast. I'll always take the burnt toast so you can have the good piece, even though I hate burnt toast. I will inconvenience myself if I can make your life a little easier. I am a giver by nature and will run myself ragged doing for others, sacrificing my own happiness and sometimes health in the process.
Late last year I was hit with overwhelming fatigue. "It'll pass once the holidays are over." As it continued into the new year, I kept making excuses on why I wasn't feeling better. In my eyes, there was always a time frame on when it would pass. I then started experiencing stomach pain, which I chalked up to my autoimmune disorder, making even more excuses for my declining health. In March, we moved our pre-teen niece into our home which added even more to my already over-filled plate. I started having panic attacks. I withdrew from family and friends. The stress of daily life was so much, my body couldn't handle it anymore and forced itself out of remission from my colitis. It was now shutting down. I lost 20 pounds in under 2 months, simple tasks were a struggle for me to complete, and I had zero motivation to anything that required more than taking 10 steps from the couch. I had hit the lowest point in my life that I had ever been.
Thankfully, I have a good support system, and one particular person in my life I will be forever grateful for.
To the outside world, I was able to pull off the illusion that everything in my life was fine. However, my best friend Jenn quickly noticed that I was, indeed, not fine. "Cancel your plans for tomorrow. You and I are driving to Indy to see the New Kids on the Block." On that 3 hour car ride, we had one of those long heart-to-heart conversations where I was able to just let out everything that had been bothering me for the past 6 months.
She said, "I'm going to tell you what your problem is. You're doing too damn much for everyone else and absolutely nothing for yourself. So, here's the plan. Once a week, we are having girl time. Just you and me. You're going to get out of the house and we're going to do something YOU want to do."
Honestly, I was hesitant to agree at first. I thought, "Great. This is just another thing I'm going to have to add to my already packed schedule every week." But, my best friend is half Greek, half Puerto Rican, and that makes for one fiery, strong-willed personality you just don't say no to.
Over the course of the past few months, I learned she was 100% right. I've spent so much of my time doing for others, I forgot to make time for myself. I forgot how much stress you can let go of when you are doing something you actually enjoy. We don't have to make elaborate plans either. Sometimes we might splurge and go to a concert, but mostly it's the little things that give me something to look forward to each week- trying out a new cafe, bargain hunting at the thrift store, soaking up the sun for a few hours on the beach, or even just sitting on the deck
enjoying a glass of wine.
Making time for myself every week was exactly what I had been missing in my life. It doesn't do you any good when you spend all of your day doing for others and not setting aside time to do something just for yourself. I recently heard about the
Wente Vineyards Make Time Pledge and thought that this was something that many of us, especially women, could benefit from participating in.
About the Wente Vineyards Make Time Pledge:
We know people are happiest when they make meaningful
connections with one another but with so much competing for our
attention, it’s easy to overlook things that truly matter. That’s why
Wente Vineyards has been committed to making time for one another since
day one, crafting wine and wine country experiences that bring friends
and family together. We invite you to choose to make time for each other
too.
With Wente Vineyards’ Make Time Pledge, we are
encouraging you to take your commitment to making time for the
activities, pursuits, and people in your life a step further by taking a
21 day pledge that will guide you in your #maketime journey with
helpful tips and ideas along the way.
I know that it's hard to put yourself first sometimes. Women, especially moms, have this nasty habit of feeling guilty when we put our needs first. We need to stop doing that! Do you remember the last time you did something that was just for YOU? If you're struggling to think that far back, I think it's time to
take the pledge. For the next 21 days, make time to do things that you love. Take a painting or cooking class, bicycle through the park, check out that book from the library you've been meaning to read for ages, spend time with someone whose company you enjoy. It's okay to make time for yourself! I didn't realize how bad I was jeopardizing my physical and mental health by not taking time for myself. Little indulgences really add up. I can honestly say that while I'm still on the road to recovery, I am in a much better place now than I was at the beginning of this year.
Check out the
Wente Make Time Pledge and let me know in the comments how you're planning to make time for yourself.
